Belonging & Ego: The Quiet Battle Every Athlete Faces
This week’s theme is one almost every athlete knows deep down, even if we rarely talk about it.
Belonging and Ego.
If you’ve ever walked into a competition, a gym, a new team, or even a new country and thought, “Do I really deserve to be here?” you’re in the right place.
I spent years of my athletic career carrying that exact story. And even when I proved I belonged, I somehow still questioned it.
Here’s my real experience: the moments that built me, broke me, and eventually grounded me. I hope something in this helps you now, the past version of you, or the person you’re becoming.
1. Whistler Cup: When Confidence Meets Comparison
My first major international race. I remember standing in the start area looking at the other countries: The perfect uniforms, the huge teams, the professionalism. And there I was thinking: “Wow…they’re on another level. Why am I here?”
But then I finished P3. Third. On the podium. You’d think that would silence the voice, right? It didn’t.
Because belonging is never solved by results. If the story in your head says “I’m not enough,” results won’t fix it… trust me.
2. Moving to the U.S.: When Culture Shock Becomes Self-Sabotage
At 15 years old I moved to Sugar Bowl Academy. I was the Australian kid trying to find my place in an American system.
The girls around me raced more, trained more, lived in the mountains, had families deeply involved in the sport.
I told myself: “They have everything I don’t. I don’t belong here.” This then turned into a loop: Doubt → Self-sabotage → Poor results → More doubt.
What still hurts a little is knowing this mindset held me back for years. It could’ve changed so much sooner if I understood what belonging actually was or spoke to a mental performance coach.
3. Utah Ski Team: The Walk-On With Something to Prove
At 18 years old, making the University of Utah Ski Team as a walk-on was one of the biggest moments of my life. The best collegiate ski team in America. At first, I felt like I belonged more than ever.
But slowly the old narrative came back:
every gym session where I was the weakest
every training session where I was the slowest
every conversation about scholarships (I didn’t have one)
I felt like I was at the bottom again. But here’s where something finally shifted. Instead of letting it crush me, it lit something in me: “If I’m on this team, I’m meant to be here. And if I’m meant to be here, I’m going to climb.”
I got better every year. I earned a scholarship. I left with an NCAA medal.
This chapter taught me one very important thing: Belonging isn’t given. It’s claimed.
4. The Olympics: When the Biggest Stage Makes Ego the Loudest
Even after everything, standing on the verge of the Olympics brought back the voice I thought I’d outgrown.
“Me? From Australia? No private coach. No technician. Barely trained in the last four summers. Do I really belong here?”
This is the wild thing about ego: It doesn’t disappear when you "make it." It shows up every time you walk into a bigger room. And that’s okay, as long as you know how to handle it.
What I Wish Every Athlete Knew
Here are the truths I needed back then, and still remind myself of now:
1. “No one is better than you. And you are better than no one.”
Read that again.
And I’m talking about you as a person, not your athletic ability. As a person, there is no hierarchy.
You’re allowed to take up space.
2. Ego cycles in and out.
It shows up:
at new levels
in new environments
after failure
after success
when you’re scared
when you’re growing
Pay attention to when it’s loud, it’s usually signalling the edge of your comfort zone.
3. Belonging fuels longevity. “Prove them wrong” fuels burnout.
You can perform from insecurity, for a while…But long-term performance comes from:
Rooted belonging, not desperate proving.
When you believe you deserve to be there, everything changes: Your belief. Your choices. Your performance.
The Takeaway
Belonging is not a reward. It’s not something handed out after a podium or a top-10 or a perfect training camp.
Belonging is a mindset. A decision. A story you get to rewrite.
If you’re stepping into something new… a team, a season, a challenge, and that voice is whispering “I don’t belong here”…
Let this be the counter-voice:
You don’t have to feel ready to deserve your place.
You don’t need permission to belong.
You’re allowed to be here, fully, completely, proudly.
